A How-To Guide for Nothing In Particular
- Proffer imaginary solutions.
- Quote no one.
- If you love clichés, set them free. If they return to you, rabbity sizzle patch.
- Reject grammar. Errors hide there.
- Feign impossible illnesses.
- Tetrahedron drawn on a sphere. (See No. 8.)
- The unsung layer of your sandwich is the rest of the universe.
- Shit like a pageant winner. Fuck like a dancer. Neither beauty nor skill are required.
- A lie is a tether to some impossible universe.
- Under sufficient scrutiny, all things are impossible. Especially sufficient scrutiny.
- Observe the dung beetle: pushing balls of excrement; navigating by the stars.
- Sleep with a flourish. Dream in exquisite fashion.
- Follow all 3,565 steps for a simpler life. (See No. 15.)
- Reject all prescriptions. ∴ see No. 16.
- Reject this prescription.
- Revel, for you command a most revelrous biochemistry!
- Luck as a measure of evolutionary fitness.
- Attempt every lock you see.
- Lobsters!?
- Before the universe was cool, there you were.
- Renounce all wins. Continue playing.
- Scream into the void. Problem solved.
- Point vaguely in the direction of infinitely inaccessible knowledge.
- You are a non-explosives expert. Be a non-explosives expert.
- Arguing about the architect proves we do not understand their work.
- Take one look at the problem, run, and jump out of the system. (See No. 22)
- Given its finitude, the universe was once small enough to be pushed from the anus of an oarfish.
- Given infinitude, it still is.
- Fail to recognize yourself in those clothes.
- Honesty as mastery of the single entendre.
- Exit the misery simulator—keep the spoils.
- Laze in languid shock and slumberous astonishment.
- For every system, an escape rule. For every escape rule,
- Love is an astonishing, and dazzling hyperobject! You must not keep it. (See No. 44.)
- Exclaim all questions? But, should you question all declarations!
- Avoid routine greetings. Reject small-talk—skip pleasantries. Pick up all conversations precisely where you left off.
- Waste no flaws, squander no quirks. Share them until you’ve nothing left to give.
- You are the embodiment of a billions year old inheritance.
- Contemplate discomforts until they are meaningless:
- Discomforts. Discomforts. Discomforts. Discomforts. Discomforts.
- *
- Hold onto your confusion; perpetuate puzzlement. Lather.
- For this is the universe that saw fit to give spiders milk.
- The first flaw of every lock: it is a lock.
- Rejoice over every mistake. Thus, win.
- Find yourself flattered at the resemblance between yourself and the person who started this sentence. Note the differences. (See No. 47.)
- Continue life in an infinite succession of fulsome, unctuous, flattery.
- Reject all goals; progress in discreet, joyous, adjacent possibilities.
- Done well, you will remember every step of the way, and forget how you got there.
- There are no bare facts. Facts are relations. They wear clothes; become fashionable; fade; strain metaphors.
- Accuse perfect strangers of not knowing you until they respond with rambling, bombastic, pleonastic, counter-evidence. Thank them for defending the truth.
- Devour every question with insatiable, ravenous urgency. Shit laughably erroneous conclusions.
- Derive perverse joy and degenerate bliss in small things. The unbounded complexity of every jot. The interminable convolution of every tittle. The stinkblistering fuckall of every whit.
- Follow yourself to the ends of the earth.
- Go back to the way you were, before you wished you could go back to the way you were. Continue from there.
- Refuse the extravagance of not knowing absurdity.
- Examine nothing. It warrants examination.
- Approach your craft with novice uncertainty.
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